One of the most common conversations in estate planning involves a question that sounds simple on the surface: “Can I name both of my children as executor?” Or trustee. Or power of attorney. The answer is usually yes — but the better advice is often no, and here’s why.
The instinct behind the question is a good one. You love your children equally. You don’t want anyone to feel left out or to wonder whether they were trusted. Naming them together feels fair. It feels like the right thing to do.
That impulse makes complete sense. But what feels fair on paper can quietly create serious problems in practice — sometimes at the very moment your family can least afford it.
What “Joint Fiduciary” Actually Means
When you name two or more people to serve together as executor of your estate, trustee of your trust, or agent under a power of attorney, they may be required to act jointly, depending on how the document is written, . That means both signatures on paperwork. Both people agreeing before any decision is made. Both available — or at least in communication — when the bank, the court, or your accountant needs something done.
That structure works fine when everyone is available, cooperative, and in agreement. But estate administration and incapacity planning rarely happen under ideal conditions.
The Practical Problems Start Immediately
Consider what happens when your executor needs to open an estate account at a bank. Many financial institutions require both co-executors to appear in person, sign together, and provide identical documentation. If one child lives in New Hampshire and the other is in Oregon, that coordination takes time — sometimes weeks. Meanwhile, bills accumulate, real estate sits unattended, and the estate loses momentum before it’s even started.
The same problem surfaces with real property. Selling a home from an estate typically requires signatures from all co-executors on the deed. If there’s a dispute about whether to sell now or wait for a better market, the process stalls. Courts can resolve those disputes, but litigation is expensive and slow, and it turns a family disagreement into a public legal proceeding.
Even under a power of attorney, a document meant to help someone act quickly on your behalf if you’re incapacitated, joint agents can create dangerous gridlock. If your two children disagree about your housing, bills, investments, or other financial decisions, neither one may be able to act quickly. The whole point of the document is undermined.
The Deeper Risk: Conflict Between People Who Love Each Other
Most of the time, when joint fiduciaries disagree, it isn’t because anyone is acting in bad faith. It’s because grief, stress, exhaustion, and genuine differences of opinion are a normal part of handling a loved one’s affairs. One child wants to keep the family home; the other needs liquidity. One is more conservative with investments; the other wants to wrap things up quickly. Neither is wrong — but under a joint appointment, neither can move forward without the other.
These disagreements are painful in any family. They become much harder to resolve when they’re tangled up with legal obligations.
The One Exception Worth Noting
Married couples serving as joint trustees of their own revocable living trust during their lifetimes are often a different story. In many cases, that arrangement reflects how they already manage their finances together. They’re already making financial decisions together every day. Their interests are aligned. They communicate constantly. Joint trusteeship during life reflects the reality of how couples already operate.
But once one spouse passes away, or when planning for incapacity administration rather than day-to-day management, the usual recommendation stands: one decision-maker serving at a time.
What to Consider Instead
The stronger approach is a single primary fiduciary with a clear line of alternates. For example: your oldest child as executor, your youngest as the first alternate, and a trusted friend or professional as the second alternate. Everyone knows the plan. There’s no ambiguity about who has authority. And if the primary person is unable or unwilling to serve, the transition is automatic and orderly.
This structure also makes it easier to have honest conversations now. Sometimes when you say “I don’t want to play favorites,” what you’re really expressing is uncertainty about which child is best suited for the role. That’s worth exploring. Capability, availability, temperament, and geography all matter — and choosing thoughtfully isn’t favoritism, it’s good planning.
When Joint Fiduciaries May Make Sense
There are situations where joint fiduciaries can make sense, but they are usually not the ordinary family estate plan. For example, a large charitable trust, a long-term family trust, or another complicated arrangement may benefit from having more than one person involved in management. In those cases, the trust may function more like an ongoing institution than a simple estate administration.
But that kind of structure usually needs more than simply naming two people and hoping they work well together. It may require clear rules about who has authority, how decisions are made, what happens if there is disagreement, whether a majority can act, and when professional advisors should be involved. In other words, joint management can work when it is intentionally designed.
That is very different from the more common situation where a parent names two children together because it feels fair. For most families, the better approach is not shared authority, but clear authority: one person serving at a time, with well-chosen alternates.
Your Wishes, Your Decision
Choosing a fiduciary is not about ranking your children or rewarding one person over another. It is about choosing the structure most likely to work smoothly when your family is already under stress.
If you are unsure who should serve as executor, trustee, or agent under a power of attorney, we can help you think through the practical issues and create a plan that is clear, workable, and fair in the ways that matter most.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation. Whether you’re starting from scratch or revisiting a plan you put in place years ago, we’d love to help you feel confident about what you’ve put in place.