When you’re going through a divorce, it’s completely normal to wonder what “counts” as evidence. These days, so much of our daily communication happens over text—quick messages, screenshots, emojis, the whole thing. So it makes sense that many clients ask us, “Can I use text messages as evidence in my divorce case?”
The short answer: Yes.
The longer answer: Yes… but with some important rules, limitations, and strategy behind it.
As New Hampshire divorce attorneys, we’ve seen text messages help our clients a lot in situations involving parenting disputes, financial disagreements, and even establishing a pattern of behavior. But it’s not as simple as showing the judge your phone. Let’s break it down.
Text Messages Are Admissible in New Hampshire Courts
New Hampshire courts allow digital communications—including texts, emails, social media messages, and app-based chat logs—as long as they meet the basic requirements for evidence. They need to be:
1. Relevant
The message must matter to an issue in your case.
For example:
A text showing your spouse refuses to follow the parenting schedule?
2. Authentic
You must show the message is real and came from the person you claim it did. This doesn’t require anything fancy. Usually:
The phone number
Screenshots of a conversation
Context of how and when the message was sent
…are enough to satisfy the authenticity requirement.
Judges know people text constantly. They’re very familiar with how digital evidence works.
3. Complete
One major issue we see is selective screenshots. If you show only one spicy message from the other parent but leave out your own three-page rant, the judge won’t like that. Courts appreciate fairness, and the other party can request the full message chain to provide context.
How Text Messages Are Commonly Used in Divorce Cases
Depending on the situation, texts can be powerful evidence in several areas of your case.
Parenting and Custody
This is the most common. Text messages can support claims related to:
Failure to follow the parenting plan
Harassment or abusive communication
Lack of cooperation
Substance use concerns
Unreliable behavior (e.g., no-shows for pickups)
A calm, consistent record of your communication can really help demonstrate your efforts to cooperate—especially if the other parent is being unreasonable.
Financial Issues
Texts can be used to show:
Admissions about income
Conversations about spending during the marriage
Agreement (or disagreement) about major purchases
Refusal to pay joint bills or support obligations
If your spouse says one thing in court and another thing in text, that contradiction can be very useful.
Proving or Disproving Misconduct
While New Hampshire is a “no-fault” divorce state, marital fault can still matter in limited circumstances—mainly when dividing property or determining alimony.
Text messages may help support claims of:
Dissipation of assets
Financial misconduct
Domestic violence
Emotional or verbal abuse
Again, courts won’t base decisions on drama alone, but patterns of harmful behavior often come through clearly in written communication.
What You Should Not Do With Text Messages
This is just as important as knowing what you can do.
1. Don’t secretly record or access accounts you’re not allowed to.
You can screenshot texts sent to you.
You can’t:
Hack into your spouse’s phone
Guess their password
Access their email or social media without permission
That could make the evidence inadmissible—and possibly illegal.
2. Don’t edit or delete parts of the conversation.
Courts want the truth, not a curated story. Providing the full conversation protects your credibility.
3. Don’t rely on texts alone
Even if the messages look bad, your case is stronger when supported by:
Emails
Court filings
Witness statements
Calendar entries
Photos
Police reports (if applicable)
Think of texts as puzzle pieces, not the whole puzzle.
Best Practices for Gathering Text Message Evidence
If you think your text conversations may matter in your case, here’s what we recommend:
Save screenshots early
Phones break. People delete. Screenshots preserve what you need.
Capture the details
Courts prefer:
The sender’s name or number visible
Date and time stamps
The full conversation around the relevant message
Organize everything
One long messy camera roll won’t help your attorney. Put your screenshots into folders labeled by topic:
“Parenting exchanges”
“Finances”
“Harassment”
“Admissions”
This helps us understand patterns quickly.
Send them to your attorney before using them in court
We’ll review your screenshots, determine what’s helpful, and advise what you should leave out. Not everything helps your case—sometimes texts cut both ways.
Will Text Messages Actually Change the Outcome?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
A single rude message won’t swing a case. But a long-term pattern—missed visits, disrespect, threats, refusal to communicate—absolutely can. Judges care about:
Stability
Safety
Cooperation between parents
Credibility
Text messages can paint a clear picture in a way that “he-said, she-said” testimony can’t.
If a parent consistently shows poor judgment over text, it’s hard to argue that away in the courtroom.
In New Hampshire divorce cases, text messages can be incredibly useful evidence – as long as they’re collected properly and used strategically. They help clarify communication, establish patterns, and support your claims with something more objective than memory.
If you’re dealing with difficult communication, co-parenting conflicts, or worrying about how your spouse’s behavior might impact your case, bring your messages to us. We’ll help you sort through what matters and what doesn’t.
If you need help navigating your divorce – or want us to review your messages – Cohen & Winters is here to guide you through every step with clarity and confidence.